Posts: Secret Boot Lust Part 2

Posted by Motorgoon (other posts) on September 27, 2010 at 18:18:44:

After several emails and comments, I should clarify the situation I posted about a week or so ago.

There was never or ever will be any “romantic” contacts with Brian, nor would this ever go to any level of anything other than coffee meetings.

His interest is specifically boots and I firmly believe there was a sexual desire on his part, however, ethically, morally and professionally I would never consider something of that nature.

With that out of the way, I received an email from him today.

“Hey! It’s Brian.
Listen, I know you recognized my boot collection the other night when you were here and I want to explain it to you.

I have seen you on traffic stops around the city propping your boot up on the bumpers of the offenders cars and I was hoping when we reported the hit and run, you would respond. Words cant express the feeling I get when I see you on the side of the road or riding around town.

From as far back as I can remember, I have always had a very strong feeling when I see a big man wearing tall boots. When I was a kid, my neighbor was a lineman for PG&E and I used to sneak into his garage and lace up his boots. I remember how sweaty and warm they still were from his wearing them at work.
I bought my first pair of engineer boots from the Sears Catalog and I hid them from everyone because I felt so different when people seen me wearing boots and I couldn’t handle it in front of my parents or anybody.

I have a strong attraction to seeing bigger guys (like you) wearing tall black motorcycle police officer boots and other fields of work such as lineman or RCMP style officers.

I have never met someone so nice as you were to me and I knew something was different when you seen my two boxes of Dehner’s in the garage.I got one pair from Peninsula Uniforms in Redwood City and the other is from a motorcycle police officer from Los Angeles County he was selling on craigslist.

I know Sarah told you about our engagement, but I am having serious reservations about this because I am very attracted to men. My concern is that I am only attracted to big men wearing tall boots, but I am not interested in other regular type guys.
(To be honest, I really thought of using chloroform on you as you came into the house and putting duct tape around your mouth, but Sarah was here and I wouldn’t know what to do if you got free, sounds crazy I know, but I realized it was a sexual feeling and seriously not something I would logically consider doing. Please don’t arrest me! 🙂

I would pay any amount of money to own a pair of your boots. I’m not sure if the department buys them or if you have to pay for them, but I would buy you a replacement pair. Do you sweat in your boots during the day? I know a lot of cops wear 5.11 socks, do you wear those socks or boot type socks?

I would like to go have coffee sometime if you are up for it. I think you are really nice and most cops seem to be mean. I suppose you have to have an attitude to work like you do.

Brian”

Again, I think the kidnapping part is a little bizzare, but he does have a sense of humor and is funny. Thats where this is at. What do you guys think?


Posted by NHGuy (other posts) on September 28, 2010 at 11:12:05:

In Reply to: ”Brian” Update posted by Motorgoon on September 27, 2010 at 18:18:44:

Motorgoon;
I have to give the guy credit, it took a lot of guts to tell you anything. What Officers that know of my interest in their boots or shoes. Are not local. It’s just the way it is around here. But I agree with the other guys here. Brain talks about what many of us have thought about. I “still” struggle with my
thoughts and feelings about my fetish. What you do for a living is awesome, but dangerous too! It is nice to know though that there are some fine Patrol Officers like you Motorgoon that visit us here.
Take care and be safe out there!
NHGuy


Posted by Bruce_Sg (other posts) on September 28, 2010 at 08:33:05:

In Reply to: ”Brian” Update posted by Motorgoon on September 27, 2010 at 18:18:44:

: Again, I think the kidnapping part is a little bizzare, but he does have a sense of humor and is funny. Thats where this is at. What do you guys think?

2 things come to mind. On reflection, I would lean towards the first:

1. He’s trying to break the ice by telling you how much he wishes to be your friend and that he has a “sense of humour”, which in this case seems to be of the “wrong” kind.

2. Brian is freaky.

Let me put things in perspective: Perhaps you have “crossed” some “invisible line” when you dealt with the case. This is a call that only you can make – did you make yourself appear a little friendlier, a trife more accessible personally, or a tad more empathetic/understanding when you handled the case? Perhaps, perhaps not. But Brian may have perceived your “actions” as you are a friendly guy to whom he may be able to tell you about his alter-ego.

The email is also a medium where one has to make sense purely from words. There are no supporting cues to tell you whether he mentioned those things in jest or if he meant them totally. Some people I know will be upfront to tell them that you do not quite enjoy the mention of such “taboo topics (such as chloroform and kidnapping)” as you are sensitive towards such things.

I cannot help but remember how I had to figure out boundaries when I first make friends here. There are some folks here where there are no boundaries to what you want to say and write. There are others who are prim and proper (to the point that I see them as strait-jacketed).

I guess I am in no position to encourage you to build on this friendship or discourage you from communicating with Brian any further. I just thought I’ll share some thoughts purely from a communicative exchange perspective.

You are a very nice and intelligent guy. I know you’ll know best how to handle this. Best of luck and stay safe.


Posted by Rich – SanMateoBootDude (other posts) on September 28, 2010 at 06:01:06:

In Reply to: ”Brian” Update posted by Motorgoon on September 27, 2010 at 18:18:44:

MG,

You’re a great guy in boots, a wonderful human being, and because of that you’re an awesome LEO! There’s no doubt in any of our minds about that. You’ve read the opinions and advice of the others and they all have a point to a degree. It would be nice if “Brian” was able to find someone who could really help him, without endangering anyone’s career. I wish I were local to both of you, as I would offer to jump in and help (having no career or even a job to endanger, right now).

Until the official matter is totally and completely resolved, the communication needs to be one of professional contact only. You’ve made the right decision about that, as I knew you would. After that is completely wrapped up and closed, well, the choice is yours. Maybe he could join you and a few others and go to a leather/boot bar or event and get introduced to some other guys who love wearing boots too. Maybe someone locally could reach out to him, possibly through this site, to offer to help him along.

I agree with you about the kidnap thing; kind of bizarre, but at the same time well within the fetish community in which we all frequent at one point or another (how many of you will admit to being members of http://www.bootlust.com, hmmmm? I am.). So if he’s found that site, it’s not a wonder he thinks that might be fun, without realizing that is not an everyday occurrence for you and other LEO’s he might meet. It’s one thing to act out the fantasy with willing partners; completely another to assault, batter, kidnap, and detain a LEO. Wow! One could end up spending the rest of one’s natural life in jail for that! But the fact that he admits wanting to do it, suggests a sense of humor as you noted, albeit on the darker side of humor.

I agree that his love of boots, and his wanting to wear them is separate and apart from his attraction to guys in their tall boots. They can be exclusive of one another. Lots of straight guys love wearing boots. There are lots of gay guys who have nothing to do with boots or they guys that wear them. It just so happens that he has interests and desires in both. Nothing wrong with that, but he needs someone to guide him, and you’re right again, it should not be you.

You’ll continue to do the right thing. I have no doubt about that. You have a good head on your shoulders (not to mention great boots on your feet, lol). You’ve worked very hard to get to wear you are in your career. Whatever you do, please do not endanger your career. You owe it to yourself and those who admire and respect you, not to throw your career away over something that doesn’t merit that kind of sacrifice.

Stay Booted, Enforce the Law, and know that we are with you in spirit, Always!

Rich


After reading all the posts reacting to the email the “Brian” wrote to Motorgoon, I am frankly disheartened at the rush to judgment about and serious lack of compassion for this individual, who apparently is living in a closet within a closet. Not only is he possibly wrestling with issues of his sexuality, but he is also dealing with his secret boot fetish, for which he currently has no proper outlet to express himself fully and honestly. I ask that my fellow bootmen cut the guy some slack. Can you imagine how pent up his anxieties, desires and insecurities must be after so many years of hiding his true self from others and himself?

Motorgoon’s contact with “Brian” seems to have served as a catalyst for the butterfly to finally emerge from the cocoon, as it were. If I were “Brian” and found this message board with all your responses to the email I had sent to Motorgoon, I would certainly feel ashamed of myself and go back into that cocoon(both gay and fetish).

While it is rather instinctual for many of us, especially in the gay and fetish communities, to form judgments about each other, I don’t think it is fair to judge “Brian” based on his words alone. In my opinion, “Brian” finally found catharsis in expressing his innermost desires to Motorgoon, and like a dam that finally burst, he probably shared too much. As Rich “San Mateo Boot Dude” clearly pointed out, there are many of us on this message board who have entertained at one time or another a fantasy about dominating or being dominated by a man of authority. How many of us have gone out of our way to try to catch that extra glimpse of a handsome man wearing a hot pair of boots? Do you automatically label someone dangerous or deviant because they write an erotic tale that crosses the boundaries of what is deemed socially acceptable? Is Stephen King a satanist or sociopath because of the novels he writes?

“Brian” needs compassion and empathy from us, not suspicion or disdain. Motorgoon is a professional and an adult, who was able to observe “Brian’s” actions and certainly knows how far he wants his interactions with “Brian” to proceed. Motorgoon can probably find out “Brian’s” criminal history and other personal information that would give him a better understanding of who “Brian” is. I would advise Motorgoon to provide “Brian” with information that could possibly help him to express himself truthfully and openly. This website is a start and possibly information about boot gatherings in his area would be helpful. Whether “Brian” uses that information to help himself is totally up to him.

This message board was founded on a need for us all to express our admiration and desires about boots and the men/women in them. Over the years, we have formed a rather nice booted community online, IMHO. Please don’t turn away from those whose boot desires still remain bottled up.

T-man


Posted by tom shank (other posts) on September 29, 2010 at 08:18:59:

In Reply to: Re: ”Brian” Update [PIC] posted by T-man on September 28, 2010 at 17:53:39:

I have been watching this long thread with interest and was waiting to give my own response.

I think that T-man here has given the best advice so far.

I have met Motorgoon out in SFO several years ago. He is a very strong and intelligent man and i have no doubt that he can take care of himself in almost any situation.

As Officers, we are trained from day one to be aware that all kinds of people will approach us for all kinds of reasons.

The uniform is a powerful psychological symbol, in and of itself, and it is intended to be just that. I have been sitting quietly in restaruants alone attempting to eat and have had some guy who has had too much to drink start mouthing off at me.

He was, in fact, ranting at my uniform and not at me personally. If I had had the luxury, i would have removed my shirt and put it on an adjacent chair. He could then “talk to the shirt” while i quietly went about finishing my meal, but that is the price one pays for going into this line of work in the first place.

As a fellow Officer i advise great caution about doing anything that would compromise his professional career. You must NEVER mix “business” with “pleasure”. People will use that against you at every opportunity in order to avoid being prosecuted for some wrongdoing which has involved you professionally.

But Police Officers are still human beings with all of the internal faults and weaknesses of everyone else. The best Police Officers never lose sight of the huge value of a little compassion when a bit of it will do a lot of good.

A good veteran Police Officer is also a master of human psychology and almost also rises to the level of a trained psychiatrist.

Once the professional case is done here, i see no harm in MG meeting “Brian” for coffee in a place where both can inform the other of their own positions on this matter.

“Brian” needs to know that he is certainly not alone in his desires and that he will only be happy unless he is true to himself emotionally.

But he also needs to know that every single human being, including MG, has the right to choose his own friends in his own free time.

Officer tom


Posted by Mr. Robert2u (other posts) on September 29, 2010 at 13:38:08:

In Reply to: Re: ”Brian” Update posted by tom shank on September 29, 2010 at 08:18:59:

I agree with both of you, Tom and T-man. MG, I see no harm in meeting this guy on neutral, public turf, and talking about things that you are both obviously interested in. He seemed to be very honest with you, almost endearingly so, and that’s a rare trait these days. I think you’re well-armed (no pun intended) with the info he gave you in his email. If you like the idea of mentoring someone like him, I say go for it. Being a trained officer, you probably have better instincts about potential problems than the average person, so if I knew you personally, I’d trust you to do what’s best for yourself.

Peace out.


Dear Motorgoon….

Hello! Just my input…
I thought this Guy was just confused about his Boot Fetish and wanted a Boot Mentor until I read your posting above….
OK….WHAT person in their “right mind” tells a POLICE OFFICER,. ..that he’s only met once,.. that he “Thought” of using CHLOROFORM and DUCT TAPE on him when he entered his house…and only didn’t do it because there was a “witness” there… and that he wouldn’t know “What to do” if you were to get “Free”??
Boot Fetish or not…..confused about his sexuality or not…needs a Boot Mentor or not… A “Sane Person” would NEVER tell this kind of thing to a POLICE OFFICER… especially having just met him….Kidding or not!!! Would you???
He even includes in the paragraph..”SOUNDS “CRAZY” I KNOW!!!
Ummmm, Ya think???
Ok…I hear L O U D Bells and whistles going off!!!!
Stay as far away from this Man as possible!!!!!!!
Don’t even meet up with him for Coffee…if he’s That infatuated with you….he will only take it as a “Sign” that you secretly “Want” him too, and will continue to pursue you!!!
I would even consider having another Office take over the Case, if that’s possible.
Many may think I’m being “Overly” cautious…..but let’s face it….there is alot of messed-up people out there!
STAY SAFE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Posted by FZRguy (other posts) on September 29, 2010 at 20:20:36:

– Hey MG – I agree. I spent 14 years running a gay social group and spent A LOT of time meeting and mentoring fellas trying to come out and discover more about themselves. A great experience – but along the way there were a few that were quite “troubled” and torn with the process and proved to be very very unpredictable.

I always think it is everyone in the community’s responsibility to provide some safe guidance for those still wrestling with their identity – but this man was already demonstrated that his issues are overriding his logic circuits…..and it could easily be argued he has gone right to obsession.

I do not believe from my experience any further contact will bring him back to a rational state – but will just fuel the irrational behavior. 2 ( 1?) more steps down this road and he will be a stalker and he has already demonstrated that he has the ability to intrude on your life.

A sad situation.

Best of luck

Tom


Brian, is somewhat like a lot of us have gone through. He is confused, but needs some direction, like telling him about Hotboots site. This may ease some of the confusion he is going through, but again, it may send him in a slightly different direction at the same time. Exercise caution, if you meet, mostly because of your chosen career field. I have had the same problem on two seperate occasions, and did not persue any contact with the individual. If you do meet, explain to him that it is normal to like boots, and not some off the wall thing. Lots of guys like to wear boots and it really should not destroy his relationship with his soon to be wife. My wife has known my desire for wearing boots our entire married life together. It does not bother her in the least. Many married guys are into boots. Use the preacher teacher method on him. Help him rationalize his place in life and that boots or the liking / fetish are not the end of the world. He needs to learn how to enjoy it without being afraid to express himself. Some guys get more wrapped up into what others think than others. Tell him to enjoy wearing boots, but not take over his life. Draw the line when he wants your boots. He needs to learn there are boundries. Yes, the guy sounds a little off the wall, but be very careful if you meet him. You might even try to settle this whole thing on the phone or by e-mail, for your own safety. Please exercise extreme caution. Mick


Posted by Motorgoon (other posts) on September 27, 2010 at 21:51:01:

In Reply to: Re: ”Brian” Update posted by Mick on September 27, 2010 at 20:09:28:

Thanks for the reply. I’m not sure of I clarified this as well as it could have been.
I have not contacted him for any other matter than the accident. I have received two emails and 2 phone messages and replied with strict regards to the incident.
He has voluntarily shared this information and I explained to him in one return telephone call that any contacts would be regarding the case.

I have not and will not engage in any type of contact other than the case.

I am sharing it with the Hotboots community because it is reflective of many of our situations many of us have been through and I find it a bit sad to see someone struggling with these issues which many of us have faced. Ultimately, I believe he will find his way, however, unfortunately I wont be the individual to facilitate “the path”.

If Brian wishes to meet for coffee, it will be for information regarding the case strictly.

I wanted to get other opinions on HB because I find it interesting to hear thoughts about the boot interest he expressed.


Posted by VTBooted (other posts) on September 27, 2010 at 19:16:11:

In Reply to: ”Brian” Update posted by Motorgoon on September 27, 2010 at 18:18:44:

: Again, I think the kidnapping part is a little bizzare, but he does have a sense of humor and is funny. Thats where this is at. What do you guys think?

I think its interesting how his boot enlightenment story is probably the mirror image of many of ours.

Its clear that you are the personification of many of his fantasies that he has entertained during his awakening. He is hoping that you with that power will help him along to his own self-actualization re:boots.

That question is which path does that travel? Meeting for coffee, talking about boots, your encouragement and reassurance that ” Hey, its great to wear boots…don’t leave them in a box in the garage…pull them on!” would mean an infinite amount to him. Pointing him in the direction of this web site and maybe some other venues where he can be around other men who proudly and naturally wear boots is also good.

Its the rest of his baggage thats a more problematic. He will have to find some other way to deal with his sexuality. Being a mentor is great…therapist, not so much.


Posted by Motorgoon (other posts) on September 28, 2010 at 15:22:11:

In Reply to: Re: ”Brian” Update posted by VTBooted on September 27, 2010 at 19:16:11:

Thanks to all of you for the replies and emails.
In regards to reposting a “private email” I have changed the names and eliminated any identifying information for those purposes of anonymity.

“Brian” has met me in a business matter. I have received emails from him, however, remember this person has no idea of my interest in boots nor any personal information about me. I would never risk my career for something like this.

I believe there is a “sexual” interest here on his part, but again, he knows zero about me.

I want to reiterate that I have not and will not respond to any requests other than the case. Thank you all for your thoughtful response.

MG

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